Top Israeli celebrity trap nabs another victim


Perhaps the most notable of the great celebrity traps in the Holy Land are the Kabbalah Center, the Peres Center for Peace, and the Yitzhak Rabin Center. Much like the Borg, the members of this unholy triconsortium regularly snag celebrities and assimilate them into their collective blind worship of former prime ministers, appeasement, or little red strings. Now, they've got Will Smith (and his wife):

The couple visited the Yitzhak Rabin Center in Tel Aviv, and watched a movie depicting Rabin's life and leadership. Both Jada and Will were moved by the film, which even caused Jada to shed a tear.

At the end of the screening, Smith stated: "I am inspired beyond my ability to articulate... and now I know what and who I want to be... a soldier for peace." Dalia Rabin granted the couple two copies of the Noble Peace Prize medal that was awarded to Yitzhak Rabin.

Smith, on his part, expressed interest in attending the event to mark the opening of the Center's museum later this year, and pledged to make a donation to the institute.

No, dear Jada Pinkett, I shed a tear, for this once-great man, who as recently as 1996 saved the world from hordes of ugly octopine aliens, but has now been reduced to an inarticulate, whining, lily-livered sap.

One of the things I find most offensive is when people talk to me in slogans. I'll cut Mr. Smith a little slack, because whether you take him at his word that he was overwhelmed with emotion after seeing a film about the legacy of Rabin (thousands upon thousands dead or wounded), or you think maybe Dalia done drugged him up good (note the vacant, unfocused eyes in his picture above), he clearly could not have been capable of any original or refined expression at the time he was quoted. But let's look at the phrase he chose: soldier for peace.

Huh? What is a soldier for peace?

After getting past the initial oxymoronic shock, I'd think it refers to someone who fights in dangerous battles, in the air, land, or sea, with guns, bombs, nifty camouflage, and expensive vehicles, in order to defeat violent aggressors and thereby achieve a state of tranquility. But Smith isn't enlisting in the IDF; he's going to attend a museum opening and throw cash at an organization that supports known genocidal maniacs. Where's the soldier, and where's the peace?

Come on Will, pull out those guns and blast 'em like you used to! Or donate your money to physical therapy programs for the victims of Rabin, or to a voluntary Arab-relocation program, or even to one of those little old ladies with the magic red strings. Otherwise, please just stay in Hollywood and pretend to save the world from afar, where you can't hurt us.

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